From ten people in a living room to hundreds of people at a conference, I’m comfortable talking about what most people won’t: Mental Health, Substance Misuse & Addiction, and Drug Use & Policy.
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
In 2015, five years into my recovery, I was approached about telling my story on stage. The founder of a Cincinnati-based storytelling nonprofit saw me as someone with a lesson; someone who could tell my story in an entertaining and inspiring way.
I said no. Right away. Not a chance. Never going to happen. In fact, I said no each of the three times he asked me.
I was ashamed. I didn’t see my story as inspiring. Instead, I saw it as scarlet letter I wanted to hide. Being in recovery, I thought at the time, wasn’t a victory. It was a reminder that I had failed.
But something inside me wouldn’t let it go.
The next time I was at home, I told my Dad about this opportunity. I presented it as a idea I was torn over. I remember that moment with rare clarity. He was sitting in his chair, reading the New York Times, and he lowered it slowly and asked me why I wouldn’t jump at the chance. I told him I was afraid. In fact I was terrified. I thought I would be judged terribly for what I saw as an enormous blemish in my life. To my Dad’s credit, he quickly grasped where I was and didn’t try to challenge my incorrect and absurd beliefs. Instead, he simply said, “Fear is never a reason not to do something.” And then he went back to reading his paper.
The next day I reached back out to the nonprofit organizer and told him to ask me again. And this time I said yes. I was still terrified but I began to organize my story into a fifteen-minute speech. And that’s when Choose Your Struggle was born.
A few weeks later I told my story on their stage, to over 100 people (more if you include those who watched it later online or listened to the podcast that included my story). In one night, I lost the shame of my story and realized I could make a difference in eliminating the stigma around Substance Misuse & Recovery and Mental Health simply by being honest.
Since then, I’ve said yes to every opportunity to tell my story. And I’m always ready to tell it again. I love spreading the idea behind Choose Your Struggle and, in doing so, chipping away at the stigma around Mental Health, Substance Misuse & Recovery, and Drug Use & Policy.